


Sleep Well Beast

by jomipay



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Kenobi is a little sad, Dreams and Nightmares, Old Ben Kenobi, kinda angsty, older Obi-Wan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 19:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jomipay/pseuds/jomipay
Summary: Ben Kenobi has lots of dreams these days, and they're not usually pleasant. Inspired by the dreams/nightmares prompt for Obitine week 2018.





	Sleep Well Beast

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first fic I've written in a looooong time. I am too late to contribute to Obitine week 2018 but I was nonetheless inspired by the dreams/nightmares prompt! This is meant to be set a few weeks/months before Obi- Wan fights Maul for the last time. The title is a song by the band The National. 
> 
> I am halfofmysoulistrees on Tumblr.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Ben Kenobi wakes in a sweat. He sits up emphatically, searching the room wildly while reaching for his saber. He inadvertently knocks over an empty bottle nearby. The sound of the glass shattering on the dusty wooden floor brings him back to reality. He takes in a shaky breath—nothing is around, he’s just having dreams again. He stares down at the shards on the floor, reflecting the small sliver of moonlight creeping into the room through the tattered cloth covering the windows. He makes no move to pick the glass up and instead drops his weapon and places his face in his hands. The alcohol helps with sleeping most of the time, but other times-like tonight, it encourages nightmares. He dreams of many things. Sometimes he dreams of the life he used to have, a day like any other day. He and Anakin out on a mission together. He teases him, banters with him, but something doesn’t quite feel right underneath it all. Right before he wakes up from these dreams Anakin’s face always turns dark, his eyes that unnatural shade of yellow, his skin a color like you can see the darkness coursing through his veins. “You should have killed me when you had the chance!” Anakin’s face is a mask of rage as he turns his weapon on Ben, and he’s too shocked to react, he can’t force himself to move fast enough to defend himself, or fast enough to remember that this isn’t his life, and right before Anakin strikes him down, he awakens. Every time these dreams leave him wondering if he should have made sure he left his former Padawan dead, but he knows he couldn’t have done it, couldn’t have delivered the killing blow. All he would have been able to see was the innocent face of the boy from Tattooine, the boy he raised. It does Ben’s soul no favors that he was responsible for training the Empire’s deadliest weapon. 

Anakin was not the subject of the dream that awoke Ben tonight. Ben sucks down a few more breaths before slinging his legs methodically, one by one, back onto the bed and laying flat on his back. He grimaces against images of blonde hair brighter than the two suns of the planet he has exiled himself to. Her soft voice is still echoing in his head. “Are you afraid the flowers will bite you?” Satine stands in a field of wildflowers, her face full of mirth, mouth twitched into a smile at the corners. The field is a real field, it exists on Draboon. This part of the dream was less dream than memory. He feels like a ghost, everything feels distant and far away. Satine feels unreachable, her voice sounds as though she were speaking from underwater.

She beckons to him as her mouth opens to release her melodic laugh. It’s the first day on Draboon the sun has shown itself in at least a week. Qui-Gon sent them to gather and they’re enjoying the warmth of the sun as they traipse through the field, every step feeling heavier than the last for Obi-Wan. Satine is practically dancing through the field, the sun glittering on her wild and unkempt hair looking ethereal and unworldly. 

“Would you consider yourself any less a Jedi if you let me put flowers in your hair?” she asks over her shoulder, her smile imbued in her voice. 

All at once it’s like Obi-Wan surfaces, her voice becomes clear, his surroundings snap into sharp focus. “You’ll have to catch me first, Duchess.” Obi-Wan replies before backing away a few steps, his feet no longer weighed down. 

Satine immediately turns and runs at him, and Obi-Wan never had any intention of running away. She trips at the last moment and falls into him and they go crashing to the ground, still soft from the rain the past weeks have brought. This part of his dreams always felt more than life like, as if his mind were playing the cruelest of tricks on him, as if the force wanted him to suffer. Satine lands gently on top of him, laughing, he can feel her body gently shaking with the effort, her hands on his chest, rough from their weeks living in the elements. Obi-Wan quickly reverses their positions, gently positioning himself on top of her, trapping her between him and the ground. He can feel the bones of her hips pressed against his body, the rush it gives him is the same now as it was then. 

“It would seem that I have caught you, my dear.” Obi-Wan taunts from above her. 

Satine's eyes flicker a mischievous look before bringing her face up towards his and placing her one free hand on the back of Obi-Wan’s head to guide his lips to meet hers. Her lips are chapped, so are his, but they feel so soft and warm against his.

She pulls away and takes advantage of his momentary distraction to place a few of the wildflowers picked from the plants adjacent to them into his tangled hair. She cups his face in her hand at his jaw line as she breathes out, “My dear Ben.” 

Her voice sounds far away again, and the next time he hears her it sounds strangled. 

“Don’t do it Obi!” she cries and the room tips rudely to a slant. 

Obi-Wan is running but he can’t seem to find his balance. He hears Maul, sounding so close he could be whispering in his ear, and maybe he is, he can almost feel the soft wind and heat of that voice in his ears. 

“Give into your feelings,” it says.

Maul’s laugh fills the room as he cackles. All Obi-Wan can hear from this point forward is his own blood rushing in his head as he scrambles across the floor of the throne room on his hands and knees towards Satine as she seems to only be getting farther away. The room veers back to a natural position, Maul lifts the Dark saber, the details sharpen and Obi-Wan can find his feet to begin to run, but he cannot get there in time, in none of these dreams does he ever get there in time. It is silent except for the sound of air escaping Satine’s lungs as the fatal strike hits her. 

Silent, stray tears run from the corners of Ben’s eyes as he recalls this dream, this terrible dream. He can’t believe it still startles him, though he has had it many times before. He’s been having it with increasing frequency of late, and Maul seems to be getting larger and louder each time he has it. He wonders if it isn’t a warning that he will have to face him again soon. He turns onto his side, not bothering to wipe his eyes. He allows the force to comfort him, he concentrates and releases some of his anxiety and despair into it. He resolves that he will not be afraid to face Maul again, or Anakin, he will trust in the force as he has always tried, thinking now he has finally learned to properly listen. 

He allows his mind to wander as he begins to drift back to sleep, thinking of what could have been different if he had truly listened many years ago, if he should have stayed, if he never should have met the small boy on Tatooine. Sleep finally takes him as he thinks he must be beginning to dream again when he hears her voice for one final time that night, “remember my dear Obi-Wan, I’ve loved you always…” He thinks he might be able to feel the warm wind of her words against his ear as he relaxes and falls into a dreamless slumber. “I always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this and maybe I'll write some more Obitine. I alternated between using Ben and Obi-Wan because I felt in everything but the dream sequence with Satine he would feel fully like Old Ben and not Obi-Wan so that's why that was a thing. Thanks so much for reading!


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